Missing Home and Missing Hope
“You will have such an amazing time!”
“Oh my goodness, you are going to love it!”
“You are going to have the time of your life!”
And I did. I did have an amazing time. I loved it, and I experienced some of the most unique and meaningful moments of my life. But joy and excitement weren’t the only emotions I felt along the way. There were moments when my heart longed for home and be embraced by the people I love most.
I daydreamed of going on long shopping trips with my mom through the treasure trove of Costco. I imagined sneaking out to a cheap golf course with my dad on crisp, sweater-weather fall days. I pictured throwing a football around in the backyard with my brother. I longed to hear the giggles of my niece and nephew. I missed studying in Campus Ministries and playing cornhole with my housemates on the front lawn. I longed to walk across a campus filled with familiar faces and people who knew me.
It’s hard to replicate the comfort of a loving home or the closeness of the Hope community in just a few short months. So what was I supposed to do with the feeling of missing home and missing Hope?
When those feelings surfaced, I reminded myself of how richly God had blessed me with fun experiences, new friendships, and a caring host family. How could I complain about the distance from home while also being deeply grateful for His undeserved favor?
I didn’t always do a good job of navigating these emotions. I often found myself unsure how to make sense of it. At times, it felt as though studying abroad had been a mistake. But through this experience, I came to understand just how fortunate I am to be part of a family that encouraged me to step away from home for a semester and for all the ways I grew and learned in Chile. By leaving, I gained a deeper appreciation for what I had all along—my family and the incredible community at Hope that continues to shape who I am.
It all made this tear-filled hug with my mom after four months of being apart so much sweeter!
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